


Colors. - Joshler

by Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Child Abuse, Colors, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Halsey - Freeform, Heartbreak, M/M, Song fic, anger issues, joshler - Freeform, sad warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire/pseuds/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire
Summary: Tyler was blue.Josh was red.Lilac was all Tyler wanted, but Josh didn't seem to like the color purple.Josh faded to gray.Things fell apart at the seems.Josh forgot what colors meant.But will Tyler ever remind him?(song fic) Inspired by Colors- Halsey





	1. Everything is blue.

All Tyler could see was blue. 

Ever since he was little, everything was blue.

Different shades of blue, all blurring his vision like an infectious disease.

Blue made him feel sad.

He was sad because of the blue that littered his skin.

This blue wasn't beautiful.

It wasn't like the ocean when the sun sets and reflects off of it like a wave of sequins.

It wasn't like the sky when summer peaks and the clouds disappear, exposing an infinite space of bright colors like a painting on a canvas. 

No.

This blue was ugly.

This blue hurt.

Along with the hurtful blue was hurtful words.

"I can't believe you failed AGAIN! You worthless piece of shit!" His father would scream at him.

Then he'd make him blue.

He had to hide his blue everyday when he'd go to school, his father told him that his teachers couldn't know he was a bad boy or they'd take him away.

He'd have to pretend to be orange.

He always had a blue look behind his walnut brown eyes, behind his orange, but not many people saw it.

Not many people saw colors like be did.


	2. Everything is red.

All Josh could see is red. 

Since he was young, his parents had noticed he had issues.

Red issues.

This red wasn't beautiful either.

It wasn't like the color of a woman's dress when you'd dip her in the middle of the dance floor.

It wasn't like the color of a someones cheeks when you call them beautiful.

This red made him angry.

He'd get sent home from school at least once a week because he was a vibrant blood red.

He'd make other kids red, too.

They'd do something small and he'd become red. He'd be so red that he would make the red inside of them come out.

One day, a boy took his toy. 

"Give me my car back!" He screamed as red seeped from him and filled the room.

When the boy refused, Josh made him red.

Because he deserved it.

He made red drip from the boys lip with one swift move.

He was sent to the office.

His parents decided maybe they should move.

That maybe they could find a way to add some yellow to Josh.

To make him orange for once in his life.

He'd try to be orange, he'd try so hard, but he could never find a yellow that would last long enough.

It always faded back to red.


	3. You're dripping like a saturated sunrise

A new boy came to his school.

He was in fifth grade, just like Tyler.

This boy wasn't like other kids.

He wasn't green-orange like the other kids.

"Hello." Tyler spoke quietly.

"What do you want?"

"You just seemed a little red. I thought maybe you wanted a friend." And he began to walk away before a hand caught his wrist.

His blue.

He winced and pulled away.

"Why are you so blue?" Josh asked. Tyler wasn't sure which blue he meant.

"I'm not."

"You are"

"I'm not."

"If you're not blue, then I'm orange." He spoke plainly.

Tyler looked up in surprise.

"You see colors, too?"

"Too many. I see red more than anything, that's why I moved here."

"I see a lot of blue. My dad said I can't let any teachers see my blue or I'll be taken away."

"Oh."

They just looked out the window and silently sat together.

_______

Tyler's dad made him blue again.

He didn't like the boy he had been hanging out with for a few years now.

He hadn't even known Tyler had been with Josh, they'd keep their friendship quiet and secret.

He didn't like that he wasn't as blue as before.

He was turning an ugly brownish green color with orange peaking into his blue.

"I will not tolerate a homo in my house!" He screamed.

"I'm not gay, dad!"

His cheek was suddenly blue.

"Don't talk back to me! You can't see that boy anymore!"

With that sentence, his body wasn't blue. His heart was. His heart faded into a deep navy blue with the thought of losing his red.

He just agreed with what his dad said and went to bed more blue than ever.

_______

"You're blue again." Josh simply stated as he touched Tyler's cheek gently.

"My dad was red last night. Almost black.. he didn't want me to see you anymore."

Joshs' chest hinted a slight blue.

"Why not? It's been five years, why now?"

"He hasn't known about you. He doesn't like colorful people. He says it isn't natural, it isn't the way of the Bible."

"Oh." Josh looked down.

"But i don't care. I love you."

Joshs mocha brown eyes turned a slight greenish orange.

"How could you love red? You're blue."

"Purple is my favorite color. You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise. When we're together you’re spilling like an overflowing sink, I see more than just red. You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece. I love you."

He glowed a sudden golden.

"You know," He stepped closer to Tyler. "Purple is my favorite color, too." And he leaned forward to close the space between them.

It was like the color of the sky when the sun begins to set, reflecting off of every purple ray there is.

There were fireworks.

They molded into the most beautiful shade of purple.

Lilac.


	4. Maybe blue and red don't go good together after all.

The purple didn't mix well for long, though. Everything about Tyler became blue again.

His medication, because his father finally took him to a therapist. Originally it was to fix his colorful, but they decided he needed to be on anti blues.

These tiny little blue ovals he had to swallow everyday to be a little orange.

His hands were blue. His father worked him harder than ever, making him scrub the house and do every chore imaginable until his hands were bruised and raw.

His jeans were blue. He'd always wear worn down jeans and a T-shirt, his jeans so blue that it made Josh think of his skin.

Tyler was covered in colors.

Josh brought out more than just blue. He made Tyler orangish pinkish green. 

His father hated that about him. He picked him apart at the seams to reveal his blue as much as possible.

Josh was a little more red than Tyler thought.

One day, Josh proved that there was an ugly shade of purple.

Tyler and Josh had gotten into an argument in Josh's room one night.

"No! You're-"

"Don't talk over me!" Without thinking, Josh gripped Tyler's throat. Tyler let out an agonizing yelp, and he begged for Josh to let him go.

When he did, there was a hideous purple around his neck.

"Oh my god Tyler, I'm so sorr-"

"Save it. Maybe red and blue don't go good together after all." And Tyler walked out of his room.

_______

The very next morning, Tyler came busting through Josh's bedroom door. 

Josh could sense the sickening blue from a mile away. 

"Josh, Josh please-" He sobbed, Josh jumping out of bed to catch Tyler before he collapsed.

He held his arm to his chest and sobbed. 

"My dad was a dark shade of black last night. He found out I was with you, he made me so blue.. help me Josh"

"Tyler, Ty I'm so sorry about last night." Josh cradled him.

"The red got the best of me. It won't ever happen again, just please, can we be purple again?"

Tyler thought for a second.

"Okay. We can try to be purple again, just don't let him hurt me anymore.." Tyler cried into Josh's chest.

Josh doesn't feel red.

Maybe Josh had changed.

"Tyler?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Run away with me."

"What?"

"Run away with me. Let's get on a bus and never come back. We can be purple again and you won't ever have to see black again."

Tyler thought for a moment.

Maybe he would finally get lilac like he's always wanted.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Let's run away together."


	5. Then you decide purple just wasn't for you.

They did run away together.

But the lilac didn't last long.

Tyler was blue again.

And it wasn't his father this time. It was Josh.

Josh seemed more red than ever. It seemed the only way he was happy was when his sorry little head was filled with dope.

But he stopped smoking.

He started drinking.

"Tyler! Tyler let me in right fucking now!" He was slurring and banging on the bathroom door.

Tyler was sobbing by the toilet in a ball, he was more white than he's ever been. He was shaking, terrified of what might happen next. He clutched his blue ribs, coughing with every sob and red dripped from his mouth.

"Tyler! Tyler.. Tyler I'm sorry." The green and red clashed in a confusing brown color.

For once in his life, Tyler didn't understand what it meant.

"Tyler baby.. I'm sorry. Just let me in.." He shook the door knob. "Let me in!" He was red again. Tyler sobbed, confused a white like he has been for the past few months.

Just before he thought the door would give in, he heard footsteps walking away from the door.

After he was sure Josh was asleep, he snuck out of the bathroom whitefully and climbed into bed. Soon enough, he woke up to arms pulling him close.

"I'm sorry." Josh whispered. "I'll get better, I promise. I just need a little time. I'm sorry if you're white because I'm so red. Please, Tyler. Please let purple have one more chance."

"Okay. Okay Josh." He nodded.

Josh kissed him gently, and he wasn't white anymore.

He wasn't blue.

He was purple-pink again.

That night, red and blue peacefully collided into the beautiful shade of lilac that Tyler has always needed.

_______

The next few weeks were so beautifully purple that Tyler had forgotten what blue was.

But Josh didn't forget was red was.

Not at all.

He used to hide the red as best as possible, rarely letting it show, because he wanted Tyler to be happy.

But he wasn't liking the color purple anymore.

One day, he finally released all of the red that he was masking.

Tyler was too clingy and Josh hated that. Tyler was so needy and Josh hated that. Every little thing combined, and Josh snapped.

He had been drinking.

"Leave me alone Tyler."

"But Josh.."

"I said leave me alone!"

He backhanded Tyler and left the kind of purple he liked.

But he loved a particular shade of blue even more, so he hit him harder.

He left that beautiful shade of blue all over Tyler's body, ignoring Tyler's begging for him to stop.

"Please! I didn't mean to make you red!"

"Please Josh!" 

"I'm sorry!"

Josh smiled and continued finishing his masterpiece.

When done, he stepped back and smiled.

"You're so beautiful when you're blue." He slurred.

Tyler sobbed, a confusing shade of whitish blueish purple cascading down his body.

He got up and limped into the bathroom like he had those weeks before.

This time Josh didn't beg for forgiveness, he actually liked seeing Tyler that blue.

He didn't want purple anymore.

Tyler cleaned himself up and slept in the tub that night.

_______

The next morning, Tyler walked carefully into the living room to be met with a drunk sleeping Josh.

He sighed and dragged him into the couch, brushing his hair from his face and cleaning the vomit from his chin.

Josh drunkenly grabbed Tyler's wrist tightly and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you." 

Tyler winced as Josh gripped his blue, reminding him of just how bad Josh had beaten him last night.

He couldn't take this anymore.

"No." He ripped his arm from Josh's grip and stood up.

"You don't."

He felt a mixture of red, blue and white coming from Josh as he walked to their room and grabbed a backpack. 

"No." That was the first time Tyler had stood up from himself. He felt slightly orange.

He packed stuff into his bag like toiletries, clothes, money, and food. He grabbed a notebook and pen and he scribbled out a note.

"Josh,  
You were red, and you liked me because I was blue.  
But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky.  
Then you decided purple just wasn't for you.

I'm sorry Josh. You promised you'd get better, but you didn't. I need to go find what makes me orange elsewhere. Maybe I'll find lilac again. But it can't be with you.

I loved you, Josh. Goodbye."

He left it on the bed and he rushed out the door, ignoring Josh's confused pleas.

Everything was blue again.


	6. Everything was gray.

Josh read Tyler's note.

He was blue for so long.

But then one day he woke up and he only saw gray.

He was devoid of color.

He lived his days hoping for his blue to come back, just to feel, but it never did.

Tyler was finally orange.

He found his mom and little brother again and forgave them for leaving him with his dad.

His mom used to only smile for cameras, she was so blue because she had left her oldest son with a monster.

But she was orange again when Tyler knocked at the door.

His brother was, too. He told Tyler how much he loved and missed him, how he was sorry he didn't tell him before.

But that was okay.

Because everything was orange.

______

Sometimes Tyler considered going back to Josh, but he remembered how blue he made him.

Tyler found lilac again, and this shade was much more beautiful than when it was with Josh.

He didn't like the color blue anymore.

He wrote letters to Josh, but never sent them.

"You were a vision in the morning when the light came through." He began. "I know I’ve only felt religion when i’ve lied with you." But that wasn't true anymore, because he found lilac with someone else. But was it really as beautiful as with Josh? Tears started pouring down his cheeks as he continued. He was feeling a little blue as the memories came through. "You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too. And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you." He couldn't continue. He tore it up and burned it, feeling a little better when he saw the orange flames destroy the blue.

He went out into the living room of his new house, and he connected his lips with his new shade of purple and felt a little like a lilac sky again.

______

Everything was gray. 

He started smoking some after Tyler had left, and he started to age a little and get sick easier.

Being addicted to gray smoke was better than being addicted to a blue boy that he was never going to get back.

His hair faded to gray with time, wrinkles began to overtake his body.

He was in the hospital with kidney failure because he drank so much to try to feel orange again.

It never worked.

His dreams of Tyler turned gray and empty, because he began to forget the sound of Tyler's voice and the feeling of his skin.

He forgot what purple felt like.

He forgot what blue felt like.

He forgot what orange felt like.

He forgot what red felt like.

Love, sadness, happiness, anger. He forgot what it all felt like.

Everything was just gray.

But black started to blur his vision.

He hoped so much that lilac would take him away.

He hoped he'd see blue walk into the hospital room before he died.

He hoped he'd feel a little orange before he died.

He hoped he'd see color one more time before he died.

But he never did.


End file.
